My Support Group

I would like to tell you about my support group and how important it is in my life. When I was at the lowest of all lows, suicidal and desperate to feel better, I decided to attend the DBSA support group in my town. I simply didn’t know what else to do. At the time, it felt like I’d burned all my bridges. Every friend and family member witnessed me manic out of my mind 6 months earlier. And then of course I crashed hard. My life was a mess. I lost pretty much everything I had and didn’t think I would ever rebuild my life. Having gone through a divorce, not being able to work, bankruptcy, living at home with my parents…well, you get the picture.

It really didn’t take long for me to feel like part of the group. So many stories told that were so similar to my own! There are people like me! It is because of my support group that I’m better able to talk about what’s on my mind without feeling judged. Unfortunately, family and friends just don’t get it. And don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for the support of my family. But, they will never fully understand because they will never feel what I feel.

Our support group is a very informal one, which I prefer. Basically, we go around and each person can talk about whatever they feel like. Some of us talk about how our week went, plans for the next week, things that are bothering us, things we would like some advice on from the rest of the group or pass to the next person.

One of the things I appreciate so much about the group is that they like to laugh. They give me a hard time about some of the idiotic things I did when I was manic. And I’m glad they do! If I wasn’t able to laugh at these things I would have continued feeling totally embarrassed about them, and they would end up buried deep inside.

I truly feel blessed to have somewhere to go once a week and feel accepted for who I am and get the support I so very much need. It is because of one of my group members that I’ve started this blog. When he encouraged me to start it, I essentially said, “What’s a blog?” So, I’m learning as I go. My hope for this blog is to have input, advice, poems, stories, etc. from myself and others who wish to share about living with Depression and Bipolar Disorder.

Anna Nalick - Breathe (2AM)

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.